Escape Site

Religion as a coercive tool

Religion as a coercive tool is more common than you might think. We asked one of our frontline workers to tell us about her experiences with survivors.

Frontline worker:

I have spoken to many women who belong to various faiths and have spoken in relation to their sexual life and marriage. Many say they are expected to be a helper, to be submissive and to serve their husband. They say that their husbands and faith leaders use religion out of context. And this is done to inflate the position of men. We often hear:

I have to give him his conjugal rights and do my part as a wife

Choice is rarely an option in these situations. In fact, fear is used to coerce married women into giving when they do not want to give. Fear that their marriage will end and that they will bring dishonour to their family and/or community. This dishonour is often reinforced by patriarchal systems in their religion.

A coercive tool

One survivor* spoke of the abuse she endured during five years of marriage.

Anna and her husband slept in separate rooms. When her husband wanted sex, he’d text her to come to the main room. She held on to the hope that one day she would be allowed to stay in their main bedroom. Anna would accept under the hope that it would improve things in the relationship. This hope was always crushed immediately after sex when he’d chase her out and send her back to her room.

Over the years Anna kept her hopes up and tried to salvage what she could. She felt she was coerced by her family and Church to stay because of honour and social standing. When she reached her limit and sought help, she had a chance to reflect.

It was the first time she realised how sexual turmoil affected her as a woman and her ideas of the woman she was meant to be. Her body had grown accustomed to the act even when her brain and feelings weren’t. With support she is coming to terms with her feelings and trying to find ways to heal the psychological damage. She is a new and healthy perspective of what it is to be a woman.


*Anna is a pseudonym.

Related Blog Posts

Operation Balearic launches in Somerset

Operation Balearic launches in Somerset

Avon and Somerset Police, in collaboration with Somerset Domestic Abuse Service (delivered by The YOU Trust) and Somerset Council, are launching a new initiative to enhance support for high-risk domestic abuse victims in Somerset. Building on the success of last...

read more
Moonstones donation

Moonstones donation

Donations make all the difference to the people we work with. When you are escaping domestic abuse, worrying about essentials is the last thing on your mind. But they are still an essential part of daily life, especially if you have kids. Which is why we’re always so...

read more
Rebuilding lives

Rebuilding lives

In today’s world, rebuilding the lives of those affected by domestic abuse is filled with many challenges. But they often end up leading to triumphs. This story is a powerful testament to the resilience and strength of individuals seeking a fresh start after enduring...

read more
Translate »