Abuse can take many forms and the general social perception of domestic abuse is violence – broken bones and black eyes, but domestic abuse is much more. Domestic Abuse is about gaining power and control over another person, and using abusive behaviours to gain that control. You may not understand why you use harmful behaviours or why you need to gain power and control, you may not even realise that you are being abusive.
As yourself a few key questions and be honest:-
- Do you get jealous
- Do you check where your partner has been
- Do you name call, or put them down
- Do you minimise or downplay your anger when talking after an outburst
- Do you tell your partner to stop crying, stop being upset after you have shouted
- Do you check money and make the decisions on how its all spent
- Do you get angry or upset when they don’t include you
If you are serious about change then get in touch, be honest about whether you want to change or are just saying it because you think you ought to.
If you use harmful behaviours in your relationship and have children, then consider how you are parenting.
Ask yourself a few key questions and be honest –
- How do your behaviours impact on the child/ren in the house
- Do you look at their face when you shout, threaten or hit out
- Are they stopped going to clubs or going out because you take the car when its needed for the family
- Is your abusive behaviour affecting your relationship
- Do you spend all the money so the children don’t really get what they need
- Are children happy to see you
- Do you focus on the children when they need you or when you choose
- If you are worried about your behaviours and want to stop then we can help.
We have specialist workers who could help and we work with Hampton Trust in Hampshire and the Isle of Wight.
Adults • Hampton Trust